Friday Feature - Geoff Cole

EDITOR: Lord Cole asked himself some questions, and we have also had to cut 29% of Geoff's comments due to them being too controversial. Geoff's request for full editorial licence has been rejected.  



You are not known for your friendly nature, what you hate most in people. 

Harsh but probably true …………. I detest “meanness” in people; my mum always taught me to be generous no matter how little you have always share ………. 

Describe yourself in three words……. 

Utterly Driven, Single-minded and Arrogant ………. Maybe with a touch or nastiness thrown in ……… 

Favourite ever game 

 Easy that one ……….. In 2005 when we were in the Premier Division we had to play the Sussex Academy XI. We turned up to the game at 11.30am as usual for our warm up, but noticed the Sportsfield was covered with cones and markers for the Sussex Academy players to go through there very strict pre-match warm ups, under the careful scrutiny of Peter Greenfield, the them Sussex Club Coach……… Suffice to say, we decided to have some fun with this over the top set up……So Luke Vintner and Gary Tester I think, set the club bowling machine and battery up ………. But on the roof rack of my Land Rover ……… Chris Kirkham then climbed onto the roof and I drove through the chicane of cones in a zig zag whilst Baby Kirks fired cricket ball at anyone within range…….. Peter Greenfield was not amused, but it bonded the team under Stu Stoneham and we won ………. And I note that a good few of those players are playing County Cricket still ……… 

Best ever team performance? 

Again in 2005, against East Grinstead in the Premier League; bowled out for 103 or 105; we decided take the bull by the horns and win ………. Stupidly I said at our players meeting in the changing rooms after tea, that if we won I would go to the “Coco Lounge” or whatever it was called then…… we bowled them out for 95 and I witnessed the sticky floor for myself ………. Great team performances …… ask Ben Challen about it on Saturday ……… 

Worst thing to happen to you on a cricket field 

 Losing …….. 

 How many 100s have you scored? 

 117 and hopefully many more to come ……… 

 Best player played with 

 Martin Derrick 

 Favourite Ground 

 Got to be “Frogs Hole” or maybe “Broadwater Green”, as I always got runs there ………. Real cricket grounds ……. “Hasting”, “Eastbourne” or maybe “The Sportsfield” 

 Least favourite ground 

 Hayward’s Heath………. Too far to walk to the square and really hot and with no air in the middle on a summer’s day ……. 

 Best teas 

 Anne Cool or Sharon’s at Clapham Village Hall, in days of yore…… 

Favourite Film

“Big Wednesday” “American Graffiti” 

Favourite Music 

 “Marourbra Bay” – Edgar Froese 

 Favourite Song 

 “Young Hearts Run Free” – Candi Staton 

 Favourite Food  

Spanish or Indian 

 Favourite Drink

 “St Hallet Old Block” Shiraz A good Spanish “Albarino” 25 Year Old Single Malt “Bushmills”

 Favourite Sports 

Rugby and Squash 

 Favourite Smell 

 Ambre Solaire Bronzing Oil (circa 1970’s) 

 Favourite Poem 

 A Shropshire Lad by A. E. Housman Into my heart an air that kills From yon far country blows: What are those blue remembered hills What spires, what farms are those? That is the land of lost content I see it shining plain Those happy highways where I went And cannot come again  

If you could have any 3 people in the world round for dinner who would it be? 

 Personally I would prefer a long long 5 hour lunch in the garden with lots of friends sharing our hospitality in the sun ……… Graham Anthony (an architect friend of ours, some have met him at Twickenham) Alan Moss (ex England cricketer and dear friend, to regale us with stories of cricket in the 1950’s and 1960’s) Graham Moss (his son and a senior wine buyer for “Coney and Barrow”, for obvious reasons) Tim Peters (to knock something over) Tim Gros (a very dear friend sadly taken well before his time) Gerry Sheenhan (for sheer stupidity) 

 Otherwise the three would be probably ……… Clive James Taki Professor Carl Sagan 

 Who do you want to win Love Island

 Jenny Agutter 

 Midsomer Murders or Death in Paradise 

 A tough call there ……. Probably “Death in Paradise” 

 Favourite Place in the World 

 Soneva Fushi in the Maldives (we’ve been 6 times now and counting) The Amalfi Coast Ulusaba 

 Do you believe in an after life 

 No, when your time is up, it’s up ……… 

 What would you like written on your gravestone 

 Pip Pip